It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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