Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize