dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
