i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
