But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
