do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
