What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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