Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
