I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize