Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think people are normalizing furries
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
