So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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