I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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