just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
