Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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