i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
