Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
