New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize