well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
