Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
