did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
