help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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