feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
