no. you can't hotbox the world.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
