guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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