I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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