I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
