I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize