dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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