I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
