In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize