First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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