Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
