did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
