Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
