some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Found your dick twin last night
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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