did you get engaged???
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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