Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
