dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
