Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
