marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
my liver is dry heaving
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
