I wanna bring you to show and tell
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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