Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
