you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
