Porn is love you can see.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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