I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
