hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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