thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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