I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My sheets look like a crime scene.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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