she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize