Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
