My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
