Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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