What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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