just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
