I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
