drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
