the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
