i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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