Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
