So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize