is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
