I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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