guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
